Thursday, August 27, 2009

10 Ways to Spot a Frenemy

  1. He only tags you in his Facebook/Friendster pictures if your eyes are closed or your back is turned away from the camera.
  2. When you tell him that you caught your girlfriend in bed with another man, his first question is, “Was he handsome?”
  3. He barely speaks to his friends from high school and college, but his lawyer is on speed dial.
  4. His new cocktail ring looks mysteriously like the one you just misplaced.
  5. He invites your crush to a dinner party at his apartment, but “forgets” to tell you.
  6. You dread reading him Twitter feed. No one should be subjected to a play-by-play of all of his drama.
  7. His ultimate compliment is, “You remind me so much of myself.”
  8. When he meets your new girl, he pulls you aside and says, “Well, she’s not my type but she seems like a good match for you.”
  9. Even though you’re glammed up he tells you, “I wish I could pull off that fresh face, bed-head look as well as you.”
  10. His personal blog is called “The Shit List.”

Thursday, August 20, 2009

May araw din kayo! By Conrado de Quiros

Tatagalugin ko na nang makuha n’yo. Kahit na lingwaheng kanto lang ang alam kong Tagalog.

Tutal Buwan ng Wika naman ang Agosto. Baka sakali ’yung paboritong wika ni Balagtas ay makatulong sa pag-unawa n’yo dahil mukhang ’yung paboritong wika ni Shakespeare ay lampas sa IQ n’yo. Kung sa bagay, ang pinakamahirap gisingin ay ’yung nagtutulug-tulugan. Ang pinakamahirap padinggin ay ’yung nagbibingi-bingihan . Ang pinakamahirap paintindihin ay ’yung nagmamaangmaangan. Bueno, mahirap din paintindihin ’yung likas na tanga. Pero bahala na.Sabi mo, Cerge Remonde, alangan naman pakanin ng hotdog ang amo mo.

Bakit alangan? Hindi naman vegetarian ’yon. At public service nga ’yon, makakatulong dagdagan ng cholesterol at salitre ang dugong dumadaloy papuntang puso n’ya. Kung meron man s’yang dugo, kung meron man s’yang puso.Bakit alangan? Malamang di ka nagbabasa ng balita, o di lang talaga nagbabasa, kung hindi ay nalaman mo ’yung ginawa ni Barack Obama at Joe Biden nitong nakaraang Mayo. Galing silang White House patungong Virginia nang magtakam sila pareho ng hamburger. Pina detour nila ang motorcade at tumuloy sa unang hamburgerang nakita nila. Ito ang Ray’s Hell Burger, isang maliit at independienteng hamburger joint.Tumungo ang dalawa sa counter at sila mismo ang nag-order, hindi mga aides. Nagbayad sila ng cash na galing sa sariling bulsa at kagaya ng ibang customers ay pumila para sa turno nila.Ito ay presidente at bise presidente ng pinakamakapangyarih ang bansa sa buong mundo. Kung sa bagay, ’yung amo n’yo ay hindi naman talaga presidente. Di lang makita ang pagkakaiba ni Garci kay God kaya nasabing “God put me here.” Pekeng presidente, pekeng asal presidente.

Sabi mo, Anthony Golez, maliit lang ang P1 million dinner kumpara sa bilyon-bilyong pisong dinala ng amo mo sa bansa.Ay kayo lang naman ang nagsasabing may inambag ang amo n’yo na bilyong-bilyong piso sa kaban ng bayan. Ni anino noon wala kaming nakita. Ang nakita lang namin ay yung bilyon-bilyong piso—o borjer, ayon nga sa inyong dating kakosa na si Benjamin Abalos—na inaswang ng amo n’yo sa kaban ng bayan. Executive privilege daw ang hindi n’ya sagutin ito. Kailan pa naging pribilehiyo ng isang opisyal ang di managot sa taumbayan? Kailan pa naging pribilehiyo ng isang opisyal ang magnakaw?

Maliit lang pala ang P1 million, ay bakit hindi n’yo na lang ibigay sa nagugutom? O doon sa mga sundalo sa Mindanao? Tama si Archbishop Oscar Cruz. Isipin n’yo kung gaano karaming botas man lang ang mabibili ng P1 million at karagdagang P750,000 na nilamon ng amo n’yo at mga taga bitbit ng kanyang maleta sa isa pang restawran sa New York.Maliit lang pala ang P1 million (at P750,000), bakit hindi n’yo na lang ibigay doon sa pamilya ng mga sundalong namatay sa Mindanao? Magkano ’yung gusto n’yong ibigay sa bawat isa? P20,000? Sa halagang iyan 50 sundalo na ang maaabuluyan n’yo sa $20,000. Pasalu-saludo pa ’yang amo n’yo sa mga namatay na kala mo ay talagang may malasakit. Bumenta na ’yang dramang ’yan. At pasabi-sabi pa ng “Annihilate the Abus!” Di ba noon pa n’ya ’yan pinangako? Mahilig lang talagang mangako ’yang amo n’yo.

Bukod pa d’yan, saan ba nanggaling ’yung limpak-limpak na salapi ng mga kongresista na pinansisindi nila ng tabako? Di ba sa amin din? Tanong n’yo muna kung ayos lang na i-blowout namin ng wine at caviar ang amo n’yo habang kami ay nagdidildil ng asin—’yung magaspang na klase ha, ’di yung iodized. Ang tindi n’yo, mga p’re.

At ikaw naman, Romulo Macalintal, tapang ng apog mo. Maiisip mo tuloy na sundin na lang ang mungkahi ni Dick the Butcher sa “Henry VI” ni Shakespeare: “First thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” Pa ethics-ethics ka pa, pasalamat ka di nasunog ang bibig mo sa pagbigkas ng katagang ’yon.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

NEXT TIME

I've let people take advantage of me & I accepted way less than I should have but I've learned from my bad choices & though there are some things I can never get back or people who will never be sorry, I'd be better next time -- I won't settle for anything less than I deserve.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Delicious Ambiguity

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next...

Monday, August 10, 2009

Why is 10:10 the Default Setting for Clocks and Watches?


Reader Humaira writes: “I have always wondered why clocks, watches, and timepieces always say (roughly) 10:10 before you set the correct time. If you go into a store selling any kind of time-telling device, that is the default factory setting. Why is that?!!”


First things first, let’s get the myths out of the way. There are plenty of people out there who think that clocks in advertisements and in-store displays are set this way memorialize Abraham Lincoln/John F. Kennedy/Martin Luther King Jr. because that was the time at which they were shot or died. In reality, Lincoln was shot at 10:15 p.m., and died the next morning at 7:22 a.m., JFK was shot at 12:30 p.m. CST and was pronounced dead 1 p.m. and MLK was shot 6:01 p.m. and pronounced dead at 7:05 p.m.

Another theory has it that 10:10 was the time that an atomic bomb was dropped on either Nagasaki or Hiroshima, and the setting is in memory of the casualties. The Fat Man bomb was actually dropped on the former at 11:02 a.m. local time and the Little Boy on the latter at 8:15 a.m. local time.

The real reason for the setting? Aesthetics. The 10:10 position gives the clock or watch a number of benefits:
  • The hands not overlapping, so they’re fully and clearly visible and their styling can be admired.
  • The arrangement of the hands is symmetrical, which people generally find more pleasant than asymmetry, making the product more appealing to customers.
  • The manufacturer’s logo, usually in the center of the face under the 12, is not only visible, but nicely framed by the hands.
  • Additional elements on the face (like date windows and secondary dials), usually placed near the 3, 6, or 9, won’t be obscured.

According to the folks at Timex (who set their products at 10:09:36 exactly), the standard setting used to be 8:20, but this made the face look like it was frowning. To make the products look “happier,” the setting was flipped into a smile (occasionally, you’ll still see the 8:20 setting on some clocks or watches where the manufacturer’s logo is at bottom of the face above the 6).

Friday, August 7, 2009

IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS

How could you tell me that you didn't love me
When you know I was just trying to play you
I played this game before
And I can't play no more
What do you take me for
It's not what you thought
So don't play games with me
'Cause I play to teach
And if you want to cheat
It won't be on me

It's not that serious
I never put that much thought into us
It wasn't that I loved you
I was the one curious so please don't try switch the game up on me

Who did you think that you were involved with
Now you should know that it ain't that serious
It should concern you that
I'm always one step ahead of you
So that should let you know that what you do
I have done before, it's nothing new
So run those games on someone who can be fooled

I can almost see pretentions coming through your eyes
In everything you do, you make it clear to me
That you're playing wrong and your game ain't strong
And in the end I know who will lose


I got two words for you: "MOVE ON"

Sunday, August 2, 2009

US hails Aquino as Philippines democracy icon

Sat Aug 1, 12:02 pm ET


WASHINGTON (AFP) – President Barack Obama on Friday expressed sadness at the death of former Philippine president Corazon Aquino, describing her as a historic figure who helped restore democracy to her country.

Obama "was deeply saddened" by news of Aquino's death, read a statement late Friday from White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.

Aquino "played a crucial role in Philippines history", moving the country to democratic rule through her non-violent "People Power" movement over 20 years ago.

"Her courage, determination, and moral leadership are an inspiration to us all and exemplify the best in the Filipino nation. On behalf of the American people, the President extends his deepest condolences to the Aquino family and the nation of the Philippines," the statement read.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton hailed Aquino as an inspiration.

"I extend my deepest condolences to the Aquino family and all the people of the Philippines on the death of former president Corazon Aquino," Clinton said in a statement.

"Cory Aquino was beloved by her nation and admired by the world for her extraordinary courage after the assassination of her husband, and later, during her service as president.

"She helped bring democracy back to the Philippines after many years of authoritarian rule with a faith in her country and its people that never wavered."

Clinton, a onetime first lady who narrowly lost a bid last year to become her Democratic Party's nomination for president, said Aquino served as an inspiration to her and her husband, former president Bill Clinton.

The country's current president, Gloria Arroyo, was in the United States on an official trip at the time of Aquino's death.

Manila is a longstanding Washington ally in Southeast Asia, and Arroyo was the region's first leader to visit the White House since Obama's January inauguration.