Monday, May 18, 2009

WHEN YOU SAID, "I Love You"

When you said, "I love you,"
I went over the moon.
My heart sang its glory,
The stars sang in tune.

As when with a word
God brought forth light,
So with these words
You ended my night.

So with these words
You made something new:
A bond of devotion
Between me and you.

How powerful words
To shape who we are!
We ponder in silence
;Our words cross a bar.

Your words crossed a threshold
And entered the past,
Yet they have created
A world that will last.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

TRYING TO BE A BETTER MAN

I may not be perfect; I may have stumbled along the way. I may have made the ugliest mistakes in life. But these didn’t stop me from facing the challenges. I stand up as many times as I have fallen. In each fall, I try to forget the pains, ask for forgiveness to people I’ve hurt, and make amends. Importantly, I keep the lessons. These lessons make me a better and wiser person.

And then I move on, determined as ever to rise above my imperfections...

Friday, May 8, 2009

The Window (Short Story)

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should hehave all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.

The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.


Moral of the story:

The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never find lasting joy.

The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Our minds are like programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors; like bank vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging, and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips just before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to rejoice about.

DETERMINATION (Short Story)

In 2003, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I WANT YOU, BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW

I want you, but I don't want you to know.
I fear the loss more than I trust the gain.
You are my love. I will not let you go.

Nor do I have the courage to bestow
My love on you, that you might see me plain.
I want you, but I don't want you to know.

I fear your presence like an undertow
That drags me out unready, trite, inane.
You are my love. I will not let you go.

And yet when you are near I feel you glow
Like sunlight dancing through my windowpane.
I want you, but I don't want you to know.

Empty but for you, I cannot show
You anything of interest I contain.
You are my love. I will not let you go.

I am a box within a box, safe so.
Sealed from self, I hide from your disdain.
I want you, but I don't want you to know.
You are my love. I will not let you go.

Monday, May 4, 2009

LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF

I’m sure you read a lot of times this sentence : you need first to love yourself. But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it’s freezing outside?

Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.
When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your emotions can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.

When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.

Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you.Let’s say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She’s four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked. When you’re always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).

All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.Imagine you have, besides your children, husband, collegues, parents, friends, a little four-year old girl named Charlotte. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to tell something and get some attention, you shout to her “Shut up!”. You say “I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house… I don’t have time for you!”

How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot, she will scream and shout, maybe she’s getting aggressive from time to time. You think you’re angry at the outside world, but it is Your Inner Child that is angry with YOU! She’s sad and angry because you don’t care about her! You act as if she doesn’t exist! Nothing is worse than acting as if our Inner Child doesn’t exist. This means trying to live as if WE don’t exist.

"The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one's self. Nothing is worse than this!"

How many times did we ignore what we felt, to please someone else. How many times did we say to our Inner Child “Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you”? Awful isn’t it? And we do this every time we let come the desire of the other one before ours.

This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this and she will say :”It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t want to take care of me, I’m not worth it”, and she will get depressed.

Of course you will think you get depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children, because of your husband or parents. It is nobody’s fault. But you have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child which is suffering from your lack of attention to her.
When, after getting depressed things still don’t change, there’s one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.

"You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an exemple. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy. Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : “What happens, my darling?” Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : “Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel.”Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : “I understand”. These words are very important, because most of the time we don’t feel very “normal” having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. “I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you.”Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :” What do you need?”Whatever the Child answers, you say : “We will ask this of your Father”.
And here starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to take care of whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, which enables you to make decisions, to take action, to follow your inner guidance (which is located in you Inner Child, also called Intuition) and to manifest your Child’s desires in the world.

When your Child has a need, for instance to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his Mother who takes care of his feelings (“I understand you’re afraid…”) and that your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn’t have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.

Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.

Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.

Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.

This is inner healing. ..

Friday, May 1, 2009

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT LOVE

Love is taking care of yourself first. Love is taking responsibility for your own well-being and your own emotions.

Once you have learned to love yourself, once you dare to do what you like doing, once you are following the voice of your heart, you will radiate joy and satisfaction. This beam, or charisma, is automatically passed on to others and they will feel attracted to you.

It is like a cup that is overflowing. What is your cup filled with? Is your cup "filled" with emptiness, (self) hate, envy, doubts, intolerance or fear? Well, in that case it will be emptiness, (self) hate, envy, doubts, intolerance or fear that you are passing on to others.

To love is to make sure your own cup is abundantly filled with love, beauty, well-being, satisfaction, joy and enthusiasm, and to let your cup flow over into other people's lives.If you expect someone else to fill your cup, then you are entangled in a painful illusion. This kind of relationship is sadly not about love but rather about a power struggle, control, fear and envy.

To love somebody is to first make sure you yourself are feeling good, and then to radiate out this positive state of being and offer it to the other as a free gift.

I LOVE YOU

I write to let you know I think about you,
Lest you not decipher how I feel.
Our friendship gives me courage to reveal
Vain hopes I've long since harbored silent for you.
Even though right now we are just friends,
Your closeness to me makes me want much more,
Opening a barricaded door,
Unraveling the veil that hides my ends.