HALF OF ME

Be gentle: What you're holding is my heart.
Remember in your honesty my pride.
If you don't want to see me, please don't hide
The truth, yet tell it with some art.
Though you may not have asked for me to call,
A single leap of hope must be allowed.
Not easily are shy songs sung out loud.
Yet now I wait alone outside your wall.

MY HEART HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN

I miss your eyes and smile,

the times when your hand is into mine.

I miss your "good mornings",

most especially the "I love you's".

Days have passed,

love spells have been cast.

Been there done, done that.

But heart became sad.

We tried to fix everything

but I guess this will be the ending.

I loved you but I'm sorry,

my heart has a mind of it's own.

Starting All Over Again

How can I tell you what I feel for you?

When I think of you my feelings twist inside

As if someone's fist reached in and grabbed a few,

And turned and turned them tight and tangled. I've tried

Somehow to say: You're the sun in my sky,

The wind that takes me where I want to go,

The sweet incense that makes me feel so high

That loving you seems all I need to know.

But it all sticks in my throat! It sounds too cute,

Empty as a wrinkled paper bag.

You won't believe it! Better I stay mute

Than offer you cliches that make you gag.

And yet I wish to tell you of my love,

If only love its own locks would remove!

Amishu

Your eyes won't let my thoughts go back to sleep.
Your words draw me across a thousand miles.
I don't know you at all, and yet I know
You better than my friends of many years.

The days I spent with you are like a tape
I play, rewind, play, rewind, and play.
Whenever I remember something new,
I feel as though you touched me on the cheek.

I miss you as the grass awaits the wind,
Or as the morning sky awaits the sun.
Although I look for you in every doorway,
I find only the darkness in my heart.

Promise... Swear!

I don't know why my feelings are so strong.
It's as if some giant crane jerked me aloft
And swings me through the softness of the night.

I don't blame you if you're scared, for so am I.
It's as if I'm deep beneath the sea:
Though life is vivid, I can hardly breathe.

Free me from my anguish; come with me!
The two of us can wing across our skies
Gliding where we will in joy and love.

One More Time?

Though this may be our Christmas last,
It is a time of cheer.
We dance within a theater vast,
Yet live from year to year.

All that we have shared remains
Within when we are gone,
Just as a house, though long since dust,
Might well remain a home.

And so we lift this glass of joy
Once more on Christmas Eve,
For time ought not such times destroy,
Nor gifts untimely leave.

And So You Got Me Married

I do not see you often with my eyes,
But often you are with me in my heart.
We rarely speak, but there are deeper ties
That keep us close while we must be apart.

Friendships don't depend on sights and sounds,
But on the mysteries of need and grace.
You're with me always, unrestrained by bounds,
In some sweet field more permanent than place.

And so your marriage is a widespread glory,
Shining on a world of more than two.
All the characters in your life story
Share the happiness that's come to you.

No love but must with all love intertwine:
The joy between you two is also mine.

August 2009

We've just been friends, and now you're going
Far away for many years.
But please don't leave me without knowing
How I feel as your time nears.

I know you're older, more mature,
And far beyond me in some ways.
But there's between us something pure
That's given me these magic days.

I thank you for the loveliness
That your sweet friendship's brought to me.
Think of this poem as a caress
That says, "I love you" gracefully.

Even Angels

Even angels feel the pangs of love.
(Vicariously, of course - their love is pure.)
Each finds a human love to serenade,
Leaving its perfection in the shade,
Yearning for the pain it must endure,
Near ecstasy with what it knows not of.

Farewell

Farewell, my friend and confidante!
As you go, so must I
Return upon the well-worn path
Each soul must travel by.
Wend where you will, my wanderer,
Even as you stay
Long-treasured in my lonely heart,
Loved well, though far away.

Could We Have A Second Chance?

Love was not enough for us,
Though we were much in love.
We started down the well-worn path,
But it was not to be.

Delight was not enough for us,
Nor tenderness that moved
Through years of angry dissonance
Towards some dark, bitter sea.

Our differences were far too great,
Our lives too far apart.
We didn't like each other much,
But put that truth aside

Until one day it was too late
To reignite the heart.
One told the other, who agreed
At last that it had died.

But then, ah, then! we felt our loss
As unremitting pain,
As deep and inconsolable,
Unbearable regret.

And all alone we had to cross
That desert once again
That we might know that we had loved
Too much to soon forget.

The More I Am Away from You

The more I am away from you,
The more I want you here.
The more I do without your love,
The more I want you near.

I know that it makes little sense
To want what's not around,
But there's just one true love for me
And that's the one I've found.

We've gone through all the weather maps,
The sunshine and the rain,
But I would take a sea of storms
To be with you again.

3

This will not work if you don't want to try.
There is no way to love except to choose.
You cannot go through people as through shoes:
With each love lost a bit of you must die.
We both are yours, the three of us, and I
Still love you though I know that I may lose.
My love is there to answer or refuse;
I wait upon your definite reply.
Do not say yes for any sake but yours,
Nor sacrifice your happiness for duty,
Nor swim against the current of your will.
But you will find abundance on these shores,
And in your love a more abiding beauty
Than any that might barren hunger still.

I Miss You

I miss you terribly this day of love,
Miss you with a wound that stabs and aches.
I see the love around me, and it takes
So much strength simply just to move.
Soon, soon, my love, this waiting will be done.
You and I will have what we desire.
On days like this we'll sit beside the fire,
Undoing all the pain of days long gone.

I will keep on wishing...

Big Boys Do Cry Part 3

I didn't get a chance to say I love you.
You were gone before we got that far.
All I know is now I really need you,
Yet when I look for you, you aren't there.

You said once that you never would forget me,
Yet how am I to know without you here?
Such emptiness! Like what I feel within me:
Neither flesh nor tears, just cold thin air.

Sometimes, alone, I feel your arms around me,
And all my need for you spills out in pain.
Jagged memories of you surround me.
I cannot think I won't see you again.

Homeless

No Christmas for my children,
No husband for my bed,
No money for tomorrow,
No place to lay my head,

No tree with mounds of presents,
No ornaments or lights,
No smiles on Christmas morning,
No feast on Christmas night,

No toys to ease the boredom
Of hours before closed doors,
No family celebrations,
No trips to crowded stores,

No fireplace, no Santa,
No games aglow with friends,
No fire but feeble fury
As Christmas slowly ends.

For me I have no pity,
My sorrow stronger proves,
Because for my sweet children
I've nothing but my love.

Bro, Let Me Be the Bandage for Your Bleeding

Let me be the bandage for your bleeding;
Let me be the ocean for your tears.
Let me be the secret of your healing;
Let me be the song to still your fears.

Love isn't love that cannot love in darkness,
Nor is it love that turns away from pain;
Nor would I care would I not hold your sadness
And with my care your love of life sustain.

So do not think your malady a burden,
And do not think my willingness deceit.
Just let your sorrow flow into my garden,
And I will share with you the harvest sweet.

Cheating Is a Crime Against Oneself

Cheating is a crime against oneself,
Hardening the insufficient heart.
Each finds in lies an easy path to pleasure,
Abandoning the way that leads to joy.
The choice is ever open, but the gulf
Increases as the actor plays his part.
No one who cheats can cherish long his treasure,
Given what of hope lies can destroy.

*Credit: Artwork by Mark Janssen Magdirilla

I Don't Expect You Soon to Love Me

I don't expect you soon to love me,
Nor are my own feelings clear.
Passion is the ornate entrance
To a world we crave and fear.

We cannot know where this will take us,
Nor whether we will ride for long,
But pleasure is the overture
That flows into the larger song.

So come with me with open mind
And heart, and we the time will prove
With laughter and with joy unfettered,
And, perhaps, someday with love.

I Want You to Be Here with Me for Christmas

I want you to be here with me for Christmas,
Even if you leave your heart at home.
I know that lately my love makes you restless,
But it's too hard to spend this time alone.

My love for you is like the Christmas season:
Joyful, yet with knowledge of the end.
My need for you has neither hope nor reason:
If not a lover, please, just be a friend.

Please, just be a friend, and come to me
When all the world is bright with love and song.
You are my pillar and my fantasy,
My earth and yet the sky for which I long.

My need for you, of course, is mine, not yours,
Nor need you answer me but out of love.
This is the season when we open doors
To let in those whose need our hearts might move.

And after Christmas you may go your way
To leave me with my sadness and my dreams.
I have no right to bother you to stay,
Knowing how your heart, unaltered, leans.

I want you to be here with me for Christmas,
Even if you leave your heart at home.
What you decide, and why, is not my business,
But still for me it's hard to be alone.