Angels Amoung Us

We should read this every year at Christmas, in fact more often than that.

Pa never had much compassion for the lazy or those who squandered their means and then never had enough for the necessities. But for those who were genuinely in need, his heart was as big as all outdoors. It was from him that I learned the greatest joy in life comes from giving, not from receiving.

It was Christmas Eve 1881. I was 15 and feeling like the world had caved in on me because there just hadn't been enough money to buy me the rifle that I'd wanted for Christmas. We did the chores early that night for some reason. I just figured Pa wanted a little extra time so we could read in the Bible.

After supper, I took my boots off and stretched out in front of the fireplace and waited for Pa to get down the old Bible. I was still feeling sorry for myself and, to be honest, I wasn't in much of a mood to read Scriptures. But Pa didn't get the Bible. Instead he bundled up again and went outside. I couldn't figure it out because we had already done all the chores. I didn't worry about it long though, I was too busy wallowing in self-pity. Soon Pa returned. It was a cold clear night and there was ice in his beard.

"Come on, Matt," he said. "Bundle up good, it's cold out tonight."

I was really upset. Not only wasn't I getting the rifle, now Pa was dragging me out in the cold, and for no earthly reason that I could see. We'd already done all the chores, and I couldn't think of anything else that needed doing, especially not on a night like this. But I knew Pa was not very patient at one dragging one's feet when he'd told them to do something, so I got up and put my boots back on and got my cap, coat, and mittens. Ma gave me a mysterious smile as I opened the door to leave the house. Something was up, but I didn't know what.

Outside, I became even more dismayed. There in front of the house was the work team, already hitched to the big sled. Whatever it was we were going to do wasn't going to be a short, quick, little job. We never hitched up this sled unless we were going to haul a big load. Pa was already up on the seat, reins in hand. I reluctantly climbed up beside him. The cold was already biting at me. I wasn't happy. When I was on, Pa pulled the sled around the house and stopped in front of the woodshed. He got off and I followed.

"I think we'll put on the high sideboards," he said. "Here, help me."

The high sideboards! It had been a bigger job than I wanted to do with just the wagon's low sideboards on, but whatever it was we were going to do would be a lot bigger with the high side boards.

After we had exchanged the sideboards, Pa went into the woodshed and came out with an armload of wood - the wood I'd spent all summer hauling down from the mountain, and then all fall sawing into blocks and splitting. What was he doing?

Finally I said something. "Pa," I asked, "what are you doing?"

"You been by the Widow Jensen's lately?" he asked.

The Widow Jensen lived about 2 miles down the road. Her husband had died a year or so before and left her with 3 children, the oldest being 8. Sure, I'd been by, but so what? Yeah," I said, "Why?"

"I rode by just today," Pa said. "Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips. They're out of wood, Matt."

That was all he said and then he turned and went back into the woodshed for another armload. I followed him. We loaded the sled so high that I began to wonder if the horses would be able to pull it. Finally, Pa called a halt to our loading, then we went to the smokehouse and Pa took down a big ham and a side of bacon. He handed them to me and told me to put them in the sled and wait. When he returned he was carrying a sack of flour over his right shoulder and a smaller sack of something in his left hand.

"What's in the little sack?" I asked. "Shoes, they're out of shoes. Little Jakey just had gunny sacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the woodpile this morning. I got the children a little candy too. It just wouldn't be Christmas without a little candy."

We rode the 2 miles to Widow Jensen's pretty much in silence. I tried to think through what Pa was doing. We didn't have much by worldly standards. Of course, we did have a big woodpile, though most of what was left now was still in the form of logs that I would have to saw into blocks and split before we could use it. We also had meat and flour, so we could spare that, but I knew we didn't have any money, so why was Pa buying them shoes and candy? Really, why was he doing any of this? Widow Jensen had closer neighbors than us; it shouldn't have been our concern.

We came in from the blind side of the Jensen house and unloaded the wood as quietly as possible, then we took the meat and flour and shoes to the door. We knocked. The door opened a crack and a timid voice said, "Who is it?"

"Lucas Miles, Ma'am, and my son, Matt, could we come in for a bit?"

Widow Jensen opened the door and let us in. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The children were wrapped in another and were sitting in front of the fireplace by a very small fire that hardly gave off any heat at all. Widow Jensen fumbled with a match and finally lit the lamp.

"We brought you a few things, Ma'am," Pa said and set down the sack of flour. I put the meat on the table. Then Pa handed her the sack that had the shoes in it. She opened it hesitantly and took the shoes out one pair at a time. There was a pair for her and one for each of the children - sturdy shoes, the best, shoes that would last. I watched her carefully. She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and then tears filled her eyes and started running down her cheeks. She looked up at Pa like she wanted to say something, but it wouldn't come out.

"We brought a load of wood too, Ma'am," Pa said. He turned to me and said, "Matt, go bring in enough to last awhile. Let's get that fire up to size and heat this place up."

I wasn't the same person when I went back out to bring in the wood. I had a big lump in my throat and as much as I hate to admit it, there were tears in my eyes too. In my mind I kept seeing those kids huddled around the fireplace and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks with so much gratitude in her heart that she couldn't speak.

My heart swelled within me and a joy that I'd never known before, filled my soul. I had given at Christmas many times before, but never when it had made so much difference. I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people.

I soon had the fire blazing and everyone's spirits soared. The kids started giggling when Pa handed them each a piece of candy and Widow Jensen looked on with a smile that probably hadn't crossed her face for a long time. She finally turned to us. "God bless you," she said. "I know the Lord has sent you. The children and I have been praying that he would send one of his angels to spare us."

In spite of myself, the lump returned to my throat and the tears welled up in my eyes again. I'd never thought of Pa in those exact terms before, but after Widow Jensen mentioned it I could see that it was probably true. I was sure that a better man than Pa had never walked the earth. I started remembering all the times he had gone out of his way for Ma and me, and many others. The list seemed endless as I thought on it.

Pa insisted that everyone try on the shoes before we left. I was amazed when they all fit and I wondered how he had known what sizes to get. Then I guessed that if he was on an errand for the Lord that the Lord would make sure he got the right sizes.

Tears were running down Widow Jensen's face again when we stood up to leave. Pa took each of the kids in his big arms and gave them a hug. They clung to him and didn't want us to go. I could see that they missed their Pa, and I was glad that I still had mine.

At the door Pa turned to Widow Jensen and said, "The Mrs. wanted me to invite you and the children over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. The turkey will be more than the 3 of us can eat, and a man can get cantankerous if he has to eat turkey for too many meals. We'll be by to get you about eleven. It'll be nice to have some little ones around again. Matt, here, hasn't been little for quite a spell."

I was the youngest. My brothers and sisters had all married and moved away.

Widow Jensen nodded and said, "Thank you, Brother Miles. I don't have to say, May the Lord bless you, I know for certain that He will."

Out on the sled I felt a warmth that came from deep within and I didn't even notice the cold. When we had gone a ways, Pa turned to me and said, "Matt, I want you to know something. Your ma and me have been tucking a little money away here and there all year so we could buy that rifle for you, but we didn't have quite enough. Then yesterday a man who owed me a little money from years back came by to make things square. Your ma and me were real excited, thinking that now we could get you that rifle, and I started into town this morning to do just that, but on the way I saw little Jakey out scratching in the woodpile with his feet wrapped in those gunny sacks and I knew what I had to do. Son, I spent the money for shoes and a little candy for those children. I hope you understand."

I understood, and my eyes became wet with tears again. I understood very well, and I was so glad Pa had done it. Now the rifle seemed very low on my list of priorities. Pa had given me a lot more. He had given me the look on Widow Jensen's face and the radiant smiles of her 3 children.

For the rest of my life, whenever I saw any of the Jensens, or split a block of wood, I remembered, and remembering brought back that same joy I felt riding home beside Pa that night. Pa had given me much more than a rifle that night, he had given me the best Christmas of my life.

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Big Boys Do Cry Part 3

I didn't get a chance to say I love you.
You were gone before we got that far.
All I know is now I really need you,
Yet when I look for you, you aren't there.

You said once that you never would forget me,
Yet how am I to know without you here?
Such emptiness! Like what I feel within me:
Neither flesh nor tears, just cold thin air.

Sometimes, alone, I feel your arms around me,
And all my need for you spills out in pain.
Jagged memories of you surround me.
I cannot think I won't see you again.

Homeless

No Christmas for my children,
No husband for my bed,
No money for tomorrow,
No place to lay my head,

No tree with mounds of presents,
No ornaments or lights,
No smiles on Christmas morning,
No feast on Christmas night,

No toys to ease the boredom
Of hours before closed doors,
No family celebrations,
No trips to crowded stores,

No fireplace, no Santa,
No games aglow with friends,
No fire but feeble fury
As Christmas slowly ends.

For me I have no pity,
My sorrow stronger proves,
Because for my sweet children
I've nothing but my love.

Avoiding TRAFFIC, The Soldier Way

While my friend and I were wandering around the "plaza" in the northernmost part of Luzon (am not allowed to mention the province, to avoid unwanted reactions), I was amazed to see a soldier riding in an improvised "scooter". I will not notice this one, if it's normal (I mean usual).

So what can you say with the pic? Like it actually. Seems low maintenance but still respectable.

50 most popular baby names of the decade (2000-2009)

	Girls' Names	Boys' Names
1	Emma	Aiden
2	Emily	Jacob
3	Madison	Ethan
4	Isabella	Matthew
5	Ava	Nicholas
6	Sophia	Jack
7	Kaitlyn	Joshua
8	Hannah	Michael
9	Hailey	Ryan
10	Olivia	Andrew
11	Sarah	Caden
12	Abigail	Tyler
13	Madeline	Dylan
14	Lily	Jaden
15	Kaylee	Zachary
16	Ella	Connor
17	Riley	Logan
18	Brianna	Caleb
19	Alyssa	Noah
20	Samantha	Alexander
21	Lauren	Jackson
22	Mia	Brayden
23	Alexis	Lucas
24	Chloe	William
25	Ashley	Nathan
26	Grace	Joseph
27	Jessica	Justin
28	Elizabeth	Daniel
29	Taylor	Benjamin
30	Makayla	Christopher
31	Makenzie	James
32	Anna	Gavin
33	Zoe	Evan
34	Kayla	Austin
35	Sydney	Cameron
36	Megan	Brandon
37	Natalie	Mason
38	Kylie	Luke
39	Rachel	Anthony
40	Avery	Christian
41	Katherine	Gabriel
42	Isabel	Owen
43	Victoria	David
44	Morgan	John
45	Kyra	Jonathan
46	Jasmine	Samuel
47	Allison	Sean
48	Savannah	Hunter
49	Julia	Elijah
50	Jordan	Thomas

Bro, Let Me Be the Bandage for Your Bleeding

Let me be the bandage for your bleeding;
Let me be the ocean for your tears.
Let me be the secret of your healing;
Let me be the song to still your fears.

Love isn't love that cannot love in darkness,
Nor is it love that turns away from pain;
Nor would I care would I not hold your sadness
And with my care your love of life sustain.

So do not think your malady a burden,
And do not think my willingness deceit.
Just let your sorrow flow into my garden,
And I will share with you the harvest sweet.

Cheating Is a Crime Against Oneself

Cheating is a crime against oneself,
Hardening the insufficient heart.
Each finds in lies an easy path to pleasure,
Abandoning the way that leads to joy.
The choice is ever open, but the gulf
Increases as the actor plays his part.
No one who cheats can cherish long his treasure,
Given what of hope lies can destroy.

*Credit: Artwork by Mark Janssen Magdirilla

Life's Ironies

A million questions I asked myself tonight. Not knowing if asking it to thyself is worth answering with every ounce of courage in your heart. Trying to seek truth in wisdom from oneself, yet rejecting acceptance from the sight.

These questions we ask ourselves over time are questions of nonsense justifications. We knew from the start we had answers to those questions that’s why we ask ourselves. The only problem or conflict would simply be accepting our own answers.

Reasons. Why do we keep reasoning when in fact our lapse in judgment got us into frisky situations with numerous damages yet push through with what we were never sure of?

Why do we keep reasoning with ourselves when we know from the start how it would end. That we know we let things happen. That we ask ourselves why it happened when we knew we let it happen. And why do we let things happen? Why do we think we lose control of the situation when in fact we were just lazy to control it?

The pain it brings. We ask why we get hurt when in fact we inflicted it on ourselves. Masochism? I doubt that. We just didn’t care about ourselves enough to actually choose not to get hurt. Not to carry the burden of the situation when we actually threw it on our backs without knowing the weight of it. Why do we actually do these to ourselves?

A million questions I ask myself. I ask myself knowing the answers but not man enough to suck up the pain. Not man enough to accept the answers to my own questions. Where is this going? I know I’m going in circles but I always tell myself I don’t know where this is going. I ask myself why I deserve to get hurt knowing I got hurt because I wasn’t sure of myself. Because I never really gave myself a chance, a chance to let myself grow in ways I knew how.

That missing piece, I’ve always known where to search for it but I never did. Instead, I searched in the wrong places. I searched for what’s missing in me, from somebody else. From other people who knew nothing about me. I searched for that missing part knowing where to look yet not searching from where I had to.

Pain. I actually have no grip in words to describe such emotion. Lies and deceit. Why do we tell ourselves we’re fine when in fact we’re not in any way near fine? Do we really have to lie even to ourselves? Do we really have to do it to ourselves to mask not being able to accept the simple truth that we are not okay? What about the times when people call us names and we get angry? Like for example, when someone calls us superficial and we get angry. Why? Why when in fact we know deep down inside that we really are?

We look at the physical aspect at first and then work our way in when it wasn’t designed that way. And that we cannot accept not even to ourselves? Why do we end up masking who we really are when in fact it’s easier to accept the reality of it.

Complicated? No. things are easy. They’re never complicated. People make it complicated. We keep sulking on the drama when there’s actually nothing to be dramatic of. We simply are addicted to the attention we get from the drama. The fuel that burns our souls in ways we couldn’t explain.

Trust. Truth about trust. Simple. We can’t give trust because we can’t even trust ourselves. Believe it or not. That’s where it starts.

Now tell me. Do these things make us stronger? Or it just makes us try to manipulate our brains into thinking we’re getting stronger when In fact we’re cowards who can’t accept ourselves.

Maybe it just boils down to where to begin accepting ourselves. The real us.

I Don't Expect You Soon to Love Me

I don't expect you soon to love me,
Nor are my own feelings clear.
Passion is the ornate entrance
To a world we crave and fear.

We cannot know where this will take us,
Nor whether we will ride for long,
But pleasure is the overture
That flows into the larger song.

So come with me with open mind
And heart, and we the time will prove
With laughter and with joy unfettered,
And, perhaps, someday with love.

Womens Questions, Mens Answers

MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS







1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.

2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?
We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well-chosen) words.

5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?
Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.

7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end?
We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.

9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY, "I LOVE YOU?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?
Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure-fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know damn well you'll pick it up.

14. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?
This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.

15. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?

Men's 10 Commandments of dating

1. Though shalt not be a girls therapist or friend, you WONT get laid from hearing a girl talk about a jerk she's actually having sex with.

2. Thou shalt run away from thou girl who complains about an abusive childhood or abusive relationship.

3. Thou shall never talk about thy exes, unless she brings up hers, which brings us too...

4. Thou shalt never date a girl who lives in the past.

5. If thy girl doesnt eat thy salad with thy salad fork then she shalt be one who is vulgar and lacks manners.

6. Thou art men must allways get there validation from thy lives and not from the women they are seeing.

7. Art thou shalt be unphased by the rejection of thee, for it is her loss and that is one more no to an eventual "yes".

8. Though art must establish himself as thy prize, feign being gay or married if thy must, for thy women want what they can't have, but to be a funny, confident guy is thy preffered route, though fake it till you make it if thy must.

9. Thy must learn girlspeak, "busy" means "pretend to be busy" in order to be tested, and "I have a boyfriend" thou art means " I am not attracted to you" for if she did have one she wouldnt let you know if she was attracted.

10. Thou art must never solve a womens problems, or you will BE her problem, as thy women use problems to emotionally bond over, weird I know but dont solve a girls problems.

Now though art shall go forth and date, without looking like a chump!

Things to do at SM Supermalls

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

I Want You to Be Here with Me for Christmas

I want you to be here with me for Christmas,
Even if you leave your heart at home.
I know that lately my love makes you restless,
But it's too hard to spend this time alone.

My love for you is like the Christmas season:
Joyful, yet with knowledge of the end.
My need for you has neither hope nor reason:
If not a lover, please, just be a friend.

Please, just be a friend, and come to me
When all the world is bright with love and song.
You are my pillar and my fantasy,
My earth and yet the sky for which I long.

My need for you, of course, is mine, not yours,
Nor need you answer me but out of love.
This is the season when we open doors
To let in those whose need our hearts might move.

And after Christmas you may go your way
To leave me with my sadness and my dreams.
I have no right to bother you to stay,
Knowing how your heart, unaltered, leans.

I want you to be here with me for Christmas,
Even if you leave your heart at home.
What you decide, and why, is not my business,
But still for me it's hard to be alone.

I Don't Understand What Happened to Us

I don't understand what happened to us
Or why you have turned away.
Of course you are free to do as you like,
But first I have something to say.

To me it had seemed we could go on forever,
So close were our hearts, and at ease,
So much did we share, yet the words never faltered,
So I thought as time did as it pleased.

Whatever I did that has made you unhappy,
Or am that is not to your taste,
Or would be were I to return to your graces,
Or won't be if I am replaced:

I want you to know that your friendship is something
I treasure, and would not now end.
If you would be willing to turn to embrace me,
You'd find in me still a good friend.

The General (?)

Just browsing my mailbox then have seen this picture taken during the the time when we have problem with the typhoons that struck the country.

I know the picture is disgusting... lol